The medical world could not function without nurses. It’s no secret to any of us who has had a doctor’s appointment or been in the hospital that a nurse can make all of the difference in our total experience and recovery process. Whether undergoing a routine procedure, scheduling a simple appointment, or being there beside us while the doctor has a serious conversation, a nurse’s presence can determine how well we as the patient copes with the situation and emotionally processes the outcome.
Those of us with illness can be quick to criticize the nurses who hardly acknowledge us, who forget to bring our medications when we are in the hospital, and who seem to enjoy their job as the gatekeeper to their doctor a little too much.
That said, chronically ill patients have a long list of encounters with nursing staff over the years, so we also have the advantage of being able to warm-heartedly recollect the nurses who made undeniable improvements in our healthcare. Perhaps she was an advocate on our behalf when no one else would listen. She may have looked the other way when visiting hours at the hospital were over. Or maybe she just held your hand while you had a painful (and lonely) medical procedure.
Recently, I was checked into the hospital straight from the wound care center. The nurse who was told to push me in the wheelchair to the hospital had to go all through a construction zone maze outside, but ironically, she revealed while she walked that she too had rheumatoid arthritis like I did. I felt like I made a new friend within our ten-minute conversation and much more relaxed by the time I got to the hospital.
As the editor of a magazine called HopeKeepers, I have attempted to find a nurse who would submit an article that would shed some light on what a typical day for a nurse is like at a doctor’s office. I realize that it can be frantic, scheduling and rescheduling dozens of people, all who need to see the doctor today. Nurses try to please the physicians, check patients in, take health histories, give out lollipops and smile, all while attempting to do more than can be expected in the time allotted.
I have not yet found a nurse who was willing to even be interviewed for such an article; more than a few have even exclaimed, “If anyone found out, I would lose my job!”
With chronically ill patients and nurses continuing to improve their understanding of one anothers and each others needs however, there is only room for improvement in this long-standing relationship. Sadly, sometimes the nurse/patient relationship lasts longer than some marriages.
Here are 12 tips chronically ill patients would like to give to nurses:
[1] When you ask if I am taking any medications and I pull out two pieces of paper with everything listed, please don’t look flabbergasted or as if I am a drug addict.
[2] It grows tiring to always be the patient and only have people interested in my physical body. When you ask me about how I am coping with my illness emotionally, I feel like you really care. Sometimes it loosens me up enough that I may even be more comfortable and forthcoming about things that doctor may benefit in knowing about the physical symptoms.
[3] I appreciate the fact that you celebrate the little things with me when I come in for an appointment. You are one of the few people who know how hard it is to try to reach a goal weight or wean off of a medication. I realize you see patients like me every day and hear their stories, so your enthusiasm about my successes are even more special and the highlight of my day.
[4] Logically, I know you don’t know every medication on the market, but when you have to ask me how to spell the medication that is advertised in every womens magazine, I wonder how often you get out of the office.
[5] When you say things like, “You cope so well with your disease. I really admire what a great attitude you have,” that can keep me going for another week.
[6] I’m thankful for the times you ask “Can I pray for you?” Though some of your patients will say no, for many it will be the first time someone has ever cared enough to ask.
[7] There are times when I am have been having a medical procedure and my family is not able to be there. I know it’s a minor procedure for you, but the fact that you understand it’s a major procedure to me, and you stick around and hold my hand, is one of the nicest things anyone ever does for me.
[8] I am what some call a “professional patient” so when I’m in the hospital, I struggle with giving you control over all of my medications to disperse on your schedule. I’m used to taking care of myself and monitoring my own pain levels. When you make an effort to get me my medications on time, I appreciate you going the extra mile. The time of morning I take my medications makes only difference in my pain level for the day.
[9] I know that you are human and must have rough days too. It is okay to tell me, “Today has been a crazy day.” You are certainly allowed to be moody, but let me know why in simple terms so I don’t take it personally.
[10] I know sometimes when you are trying to get me in for an appointment my schedule can be difficult. I’m not trying to be complicated. Although a great deal of my time is filled with doctor’s appointments, therapies, lab tests, etc. I’m also trying to work around my family’s schedule to have as normal of life as possible.
[11] When you do something like call a prescription into the pharmacy so it’s ready when I get there, and I don’t have to wait, I recognize that it’s an extra step for you, and appreciate it a great deal.
[12] When I’m in the hospital, I’m very grateful for the things you help me to do such as shower, change the sheets on the bed, or even just have a conversation to distract me from the pain. It makes a difference in my stay. Thanks for not treating me like a project, but a person.
Living with a chronic illness is difficult. Choosing the career path of nursing is not easy either. When each remembers to pass along simple encouragement in the words of “thank you” or “I admire your strength,” both the patient and the nurse can have a beneficial, and sometimes even a blessed, relationship.
Lisa Copen is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness Week held annually in Sept and featuring a free 5-day virtual conference online. Follow II Week on Twitter for cool prizes and info. Blog about invisible illness on your site, be a featured guest blogger, meet others, read articles and lots more. Make a difference!